you thought you knew everything about me
but actually you dont
you claimed you loved and accepted me for who i am
but that was all talk only
you said i am selfish and only think about myself
but did you ever think of how you treated me?
you said you want to do something by yourself
and i let you do it
sometimes i also really dont like the way you treat me
i still remember the times you did something that only you benefitted from
and me?
i suffered alone
in pain and sadness
you said you will be there for me
you will lend me your shoulder to lean on for support
you promised you will be there for me when i cry
but when i cried
all you did was gave me a pat on my back
and ran off to have fun
the only ones who were there for me was gena clarine nicole
deep down i dont think you ever accomplished all this

you promised to not leave me out
you broke this
because whenever somebody tells you somethings
i am not the one who hears from you first hand
i had to hear it from someone else

you promised to be my listening ear
but you did not
whenever i want to complain about something to you
you say sorry i am busy now will talk to you later
or can you text me cos i am not free
but when you are free then you will not call me

you said you will give me ever lasting hugs
but when was the last time you gave me one when we were still bestfriends?
and when i needed you the most
you will not be there for me always

you also said you will never allow anyone to bully and hurt me
when i asked for your help to ask caris to go away
do you still remember what you did???
you practically ran away when you saw caris pulling at my bag
you never even stop to turn your head to see me
you only did that when you are at the classroom
even so you did not ask caris to let me go
you continued to laugh
didn't you know how much i was hurting inside?
and here you are accusing me of not sparring a thought for others
when i saw how ashley was bullying you last time
i never once thought of leaving you there
even when i had something important to do
but now the new me who is free of baggages
will leave you there and then
to let you have a taste of how i felt when people is bullying me and you were not there to help

can you please ask yourself these few questions?
place your hand over your heart and ask yourself
are you my bestfriend?
are you accepting me as who i am?
do you really care for me?
do you love me?

if you accepted me for who i am
then i should never have received the essay-long letter
which is full of problems and your opinions about my attitude
and if you really do care for me
then you should have been there for me when i cried
but there i was
secretly and stupidly wishing and that you will come and comfort me
but when you did not appear
i told myself that you will surely come for me at the end of the day
but instead you asked people to leave me alone
to sort out my own thinkings
and you yourself ran away like i have some kind of disease
if you love me
please let me control my life
my life which was originally free of tears and pain before you appeared
dont make me cry once i get home
and i cry because of your actions in school that i saw for myself
you go around telling people that you love them
and you also tell me that you love me
then which is the truth?
since you love everyone the same way you love me
then tell me why i have to give you extra love?

if you do love me
as you claimed
then let go of my life which has became tangled with yours
please...
we can still be normal friends though
but never bestfriends ever again.
i am sorry it has to end like that
after months of being together
this is all i will get
pain misery and nothing else.



pain is all you have given me after all that we have been through

OMG!!!how long have i not posted???
final exams are coming and im stressing out
not because of studies but because of friendship problems

i just dont know what she is thinking
she has her problem and i dont have mine
she thought she knew the real me
but actually she didn't
maybe she knows but hasn't she heard thgat people can change?
i can tell that she changed but i haven't
i am still the marabelle i was last year...
playful, naughty,shy to strangers, defiant
from a goody goody girl to a girl that can hurt someone deeply
that change is a very big and noticeable one.

she said she love me(friend friend love)
and she said that it will last that way forever
but look at what happened now
even others can see the difference
i feel like we were once married but now divorced
and we are avoiding each other now like we cheated on one another
even my mum can tell the difference

everyday i go to school with my hopes so high
that you and i will always be bestfriend forever
but alas your actions killed my heart.
maybe you cant see the difference in yourself
but the people standing at the sidelines can see better
everytime i look at you smile with others
i will ask myself
what exactly did i do wrong?
so wrong for you to ignore me?

during lesson time you said you have to rely on yourself for good grades
so i stopped asking you questions and let you concentrate
but instead you took it as a misunderstanding.
there is a lot of things i want to tell you
but i just simply cannot say it to you in face
not now if not our friendship will be strained
why cant we go back to the times when we were having fun
so much fun to land us what we became today as bestfriends

i hate to put on a smiley face and say yeah im okay
when dena ask me if i am okay
and she not only ask me once but twice thrice
and after she ask she will give me a pat on my back
when she does that i really wished that you will do that to me
you said that you were afraid that i will kick you aside when i found new friends
but did i?
i kept my promise and stayed by you
and what did you do to me?
you threw me aside
you did not want to talk to me
you went off with anybody without telling me where you are going
maybe you are thinking that i am not your mum
and i have no control over you
okay that is fine with me
but when someone needs to find you urgently
the first thing they do is ask me where you went
and i had to say i dont know when i am supposed to know
just because i am you bestfriend

people said that if you love someone then you will let her go
i am gonna listen to that and let you go your own way
i have done it once and i am doing it again
silvia left me when i thought she was the one
and i turned to you when she let me down
now its your turn to let me down and i have no one to turn to
i cant keep telling dena or she will not have time for winse
i cannot tell nicole or she will be unhappy with me again
i cannot tell winse orgena or debbie if not they will just say cheer up when i simply cant
i cant tell anyone and so i have to turn to myself

whenever i cry when i am not supposed to
i tell myself who the hell am i crying over
and when i told myself its you
i got angry
because deep down i know my place is already cleared
just waiting for the next person to come along and settle down

if you have any problems next time
then feel free to call or text me to share with me
even though the chances of us being bestfriend again might be slim
but still i am harbouring some hopes.
hope that even if we cant be bestfriends we can still remain as good friends




i will look before i fall the next time someone right comes along

these are the quotes that describe our relationship...

"i will always be beside you,until the very end.
wiping your tears away,being your bestfriend.
i will smile when you smile and feel the pain you do.
if you cry a single tear i promise i will cry too."

"a best frind is like a four leaf clover hard to find but lucky to have"

"a true friend sees your tears but fixes your heart."

"best friends are hard to find,harder to leave and impossible to forget."

"the suns and stars may fall but in the end our friendship will soar."

"your smile and hug is the medicine that cures all pain and it never fails."

"together we party,together we cry.we kept every secret and covered every lie.cos we are best friends till the day we die."

"a friend can be true till the day you die but a best friend knows where to find you after that."

"a best friend is the one who believes in you even though you have ceased to believe in yourself."

"god has done something really special when he blessed me with a friend like you."

"side by side or miles apart,friends are forever close in your heart."


see all those quotes above?those are yours to keep.i changed some of them to suit my love for you...

dont know when is the last time i posted
seems so long ago
but its that long ago...
that is crappy stuff.

oh well today is my birthday
and i have received like so many wishings
plus a hug from lycia!!!!!
till now i still cant believe that lycia hugged me
wish i can recieve a hug every year from her...
yeah but that is only in my dreams :(
got quite many presents from friends
but i LOVE one present in particular
and its made by painstalkingly by justine for 2 months
but i also like our presents form debbie & gena...


"to the bestfriend that knows me inside out:
thanks justine thanks for everything you have done for me
your presents alone can make me cry
not because its too funny that i laughed till i cry
but is because it is filled with your love that i have felt and has touched me
you know what i like or dislike
my wants and needs...
we share our deepest secrets with each other(at least i do)
we do fun stuff together
we go everywhere together
and we never split up
i hope we will never land in a situation that i have to let you go
i hope that we can be together every minute of the day
and i certainly hope that we can be bestfrinds till the end.
you were there for me when i needed you
you were there when silvia became cold towards me
like a gurdian angel keeping me safe
reminding me to do things that i forget
or things that will get me into trouble
you were there even though i did not want you to be there
and if you need a listening ear
i will be a few seconds away if you call me
so when you read this letter
you will know that my feelings toward oyu
is the same as your feelings towards me...
and let me leave you with a poem you may have heard before:
roses are red
violents are blue
my love to you
is always true
you light up my life
and you make me shine."

back to school life is so much more fun than being cooped at home during the hols.
at least i get to laugh as much as i want at school
and fencing training is so awesome!!!
LOVE IT SO MUCH<3>
homework starts rolling in
which means that scoldings will increase
it already is increasing...
that sucks...
and miss verin also suck to the core!!!






talking to you makes me happy.

okay so i dont know what to post now.
i wanna wish shaleen a happy belated birthday wishings
i am so sorry i did not wish you on your birthday itself
but not to worry i have gotten you a birthday present
its from me and justine so yeah.

wow!!!
went to vivo with dena winse justine nicole
but it rain so cannot play with water
plus nicole did not bring extra clothes
so...
went to timezone to take neoprints
then went to eat yougurt
cos winse waited for so long before she got around to eating it
also watched movie
MARMADUKE is the title
that show is quite funny
but i wouldn't say that it is super duper funny lah




seeing you upset breaks my heart...

I AM JUST SO LUCKY!!!
had PTM today
well dont ask me how is it
all i can say is that...
IT SUCKED...
i got no bad comments
so never get scolding
but my sis wasn't so fortunate
she failed
plus many bad comments
so got scolded

then that TEO AH TIOK
told my parents that we have holiday homework
that has to be passed up
i am so PISSED of at that time when i heard that
must she be so talkative???
will it kill her to keep her mouth shut about that matter?
even if she never tell
i will also do it
cos if i dont do it
i will have a guilty conscious

all together
today sucked totally
for me
but i hope everyone had a nice and happy day ahead
plan your own life
make it more interesting
dont let people you do not like ruin your day
so i will go ahead
and be one crazy and fun-loving girl ♥




The hardest thing to do is not being able to work magic for your loved ones

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